“I don’t need help communicating. I’m a good communicator!” Yes, I bet you are.
By the time I graduated acting school, I had done 3 years in an intensive, practical school setting, hundreds of dance classes and thousands of singing lessons. I remember the wave sweeping over me, that glorious feeling that I knew everything, and I was done learning my craft. As I watched others around me continue to take classes, I thought there was something wrong with them. “We’re done!” I wanted to shout. “You don’t have to keep learning!” I’m not trying to sound arrogant, I really thought this.
The fall was hard, and at times embarrassing. It started with dance auditions. I realized after a year or so that I couldn’t keep up with the choreography. Rather than accept that I had something to learn, I really focused on being a singer and actor. I never liked dance much anyway. I was getting roles, and it was great. And I was being asked to sing in lots of different styles and use a wide range. I began to notice that I didn’t have a lot of stamina. When I got home from rehearsal, I would have to stop speaking and rest my voice. I watched others around me go to karaoke bars after rehearsal and I marveled at their ‘cords of steel.’ Then, right before a show opened, I lost my voice. In all fairness, I did have a cold but if I’m honest the cold wasn’t the problem. My arrogant attitude that I had nothing to learn was the problem. It was mortifying.
It would be more dramatic to say that I had a sudden turnaround and immediately started singing lessons. But no. Change isn’t always so dramatic. Sometimes its glacial.
A few years later, I auditioned for a show I really wanted – A Closer Walk with Patsy Cline. I went for a vocal coaching with a dear friend who is a stellar vocal coach and teacher, and after we sang over the songs for the audition she said, “This is your show to lose.” That’s the dramatic moment, I guess. The idea that it was up to me to make the change. When I booked the show I went back to her and talked about my vocal problems and fears. She gave me strategies and a vocal warm-up that I use to this day because it ensures I am always practicing the essentials, is full of challenges, and I always learn something new.
I still have a lot to learn about a lot of things, and I am finally getting out of my own way. And I think this makes me a better teacher too, because I understand how scary it is to arrive at a place as an adult where you are open to learning and potentially failing.
In the past week I helped three excellent communicators. I helped one position his resume and cover letter to get him in the room for a job he is perfect for, even though his skills and education don’t exactly match the posting. I helped someone craft a delicate letter of resignation, and I helped a third who is running a playwriting festival. She needed to develop guidelines for navigating cultural appropriation in writing. These people are all skilled communicators and what they needed was feedback – new ideas and the perspective of someone with expertise.
None of us are done learning in this life. Mastery is about continually learning and picking up a second book once you’ve finished the first. The world is always changing. Knowledge and skill don’t stand still. Even if you’re an expert at something, there is always another perspective that might help you grow.
